Live from just FEET away from various Apple event live streams.
Watching it on my Xbox right now.
Somebody get a photo of the Apple banner outside and get it up NOW!
What can we discern about the news we'll hear, like, an hour from now from its color palette? More importantly, what can we discern about ourselves?
Matt Buchanan added Matt Langer.
John Herrman added Katie Notopoulos.
what do you guys think, is this thing going to be revolutionary or just evolutionary
Guys, should I shave for this? I haven't in a couple weeks and I'm thinking I should look pretty, right?
I need a second monitor just to keep mattlanger.com/langry running during this
What wil the new iPad mean for discusion platforms such as Branch™
And is this Branch the equivalent of our own little Windows Launch Party?
Windows : Launch Party : : iPad : Branch
Who's bringing the juicer???
Katie, the iPad Mini is a revolutionary new device for monitoring your friend's jokey single serving sites.
The Kindle screensaver is pictures of authors; the iPad Mini screensaver is classic single-serving sites from history.
not my kindle - my kindle's screensaver is a big ad for the new tyler perry movie (because i bought the kind that comes with ads)
i hope the new ipad mini will have cool new madea features
I would watch Madea in 2fps b&w e-ink refreshes, for sure.
This gorgeous new screensaver we've built just for the iPad mini features classic sites such as "Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle" and "Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?" Isn't that something?
"We call it a screen*savior*, because we can trademark that."
"It's the best ScreenSavior we've ever made."
Man the robots at Demand/COVERITLIVE sure have been disrupted by this Branch™ thing huh?
I'm not sure this is Branch! I think this is Kinja. All I know is that it has revolutionized the way I comment, not evolutionized it.
yeah where are we?
Man, this thing needs to start already. I feel totally numb to all feelings of pleasure or pain right now, dead to all human emotion. Only Tim Cook can jolt me out of it.
What do you guys think, anyway? Are they finally going to update the Apple Hi-Fi?
I'm going to watch this on my TELEVISION, which is the actual strangest thing in the world to me.
You know, I finally got one of those Big Jambox Bluetooth speakers and I sort of adore it. I carry it around the house with me like a little bricky baby. So to answer your question: No.
Cool trick for people with Jamboxes: sync via Bluetooth, start playing dance music, swing it around in a grocery bag above your head. Life of the party. Works with an iPhone too if you turn it up enough.
Better question: are we finally going to see an update to the Macintosh TV? upload.wikimedia.org
Macintosh TV: The best way to watch the live stream of an Apple Event!
Possible names? iPad Mini is boring. iPad Air is like full-on MacRumors Marketing subforum wishful thinking type stuff. iPad Tween? I kind of like that:
TweenPad Mini Liveblog starts NOW http://live.gizmodo.com
It'll be called "iPad Mini," or my name isn't Sam Biddle.
I think Air implies premium and this isn't? So Mini seems like the most reasonableish thing. Or like nano, but that'd be weird.
iPad Nano = iPod Touch. Wait WHOA
Guys the name has been decided/confirmed/solidified.
Awesome sourcing on that RT @markgurman: iPad Mini. http://9to5mac.com/2012/10/23/apple-has-ipad-mini-smart-covers-ready-to-go-for-the-ipad-mini/
what if the name is iPad Cutie
What if it's iPadette
iPadie
I hope they announce a new Smartcover that doesn't turn the color of a dirty tennis shoe after like three months
What if it's iPad A-Cup
Apple announces the new Diminutive iPad.
ePad
ehPad
"This is according to reliable sources." Well, glad we've got that settled!
What if it's "iPad" and "ipad"?
No, really, guys. WHAT IF
Haha this rules, Apple doesn't own iPadMini.com
PAHAHAHHAHA @jwherrman @laura_june http://ipadmini.com
ok iPad name throwback joke: what if they start calling the old version iPad Maxi? lmbo rofl Get it?
The iPad Light for those days when you have a lighter (work)flow NAILED IT
I really like that dog on the iPad Mini site.
The mockups have been completely insane this time around. Everyone's pretty sure about what this thing will look like, which means mockups are less interesting. But also WAY easier. So we get things like this:
ALso wait is that a bag of drugs next to the small one. The iPad Mini is narrower than a bag of drugs! Must credit FWD
yeah wait i was about to say wtf it looks like there's drugs on there
iPad mini: so small and light you can cut lines with it
Definitely a cool dog.
You're looking at your halloween costume right there, John.
le cool dog
Oh god, WAIT. Group family costume idea. Youngest kid: iPod Touch. Middle kid: iPad Mini. Oldest kid: iPad Normal. Mom: iMac. Dad: I guess also an iMac.
So you're going as a family of dweebs this year.
Dad could be a Mac Pro — you know, a lumbering beast of a thing, constantly on the verge of extinction.
Cause I heard that's what's happening to men? I read that in a book or on reddit or something.
Jeez matt
Guys what do you think of Microsoft's iPad Mega, Surface?
I love its keyboard! In theory! I want one for iPad! In theory!
What about the fact it has a FULL WINDOWS DESKTOP with OFFICE in it?
But ONLY Office, right? Like I can't install stuff on desktop, can I
Office sans Outlook.
I can't install XCOM on it, so it's not a PC.
[nerd voice] ACTUALLY THERE IS NO MAIL CLIENT ~ me, dressed up as Finn, trick or treating next week
What are you guys eatin' in prep for this livebranch
Gonna eat some peanut butter and make some coffee, with one of these ablebrewing.com
Just heated up the last two slices from a Papa Johns pie I ordered because of a TV ad on Sunday. So maybe I shouldn't be about to watch this.
Ugh, Mahoney, you're just like all the other sheeple.
Hi guys I've never done a branch before it is telling me to "be casual" is this how you do it
I am eating Thai food like a goddamned freethinking individual.
I'm sucking on a Starlight mint, one of about 600 I've eaten since I quit smoking. (I actually believe that is an accurate count.)
Chipotle burrito because:
Apple event : Apple event live stream : : Mission burrito : Chipotle burrito
Hey, Matt. There's no icon for the Apple event on my Apple TV. What do I...or there it is in the middle.
I'm eating nothing, i want my tract clear for this
John Herrman added Dan Nosowitz.
Ugh I wish I was THERE. twitter.com
And we're going in ... Sorta. My view of the front of the line. #ipadmini #apple http://t.co/PcXXVPrV
This swoopy live stream camera work is making me kind of dizzy.
Is this the new Bob Dylan album? It's hip.
John Herrman added Reyhan Harmanci.
They did a really nice job on the renovation of Moscone. It's got that "classic movie palace" feel.
I wonder if Tim C will ever shrug off Jobs's taste in music. Be your own CEO, Tim.
Is Apple too cool to have Taylor Swift perform today? Or, wait, too lame? Is Apple cool or lame? Is Taylor Swift cool or lame? I P A D
Guys please set your devices to silent.
uh my video isn't working
Ugh do I really have to use Safari. I declare this event and the new iPAd a FAILURE
I'll livestream it for you with a Ustream into this Branch; will send you the invite on app.net
OH NO THE MUSIC CUT OUT
This is like an establishing shot from the longest cut of Titanic.
according to gdgt's very red pictures the tech journos are literally in hell right now
Does Tim Cook seems like he's trying too hard?
I ordered my 5 on the 11th and it won't get here until November. It's harshing my purchase glow.
HAHAHHAAH someone's filming it with an iPad: i.imgur.com
"Thissss issss FANT-A-SSSSS-TICK"
Noooo they shouldn't be encouraging people to take video with their iPads in public, that is the worst behavior!
Bertrand is there! I love that guy. Best OS X keynotes.
There was a guy filming the halloween parade on his motorcycle with an iPad. Seriously.
Man, seeing a video stream of this stuff rather than reading a liveblog makes me feel SO MUCH GROSSER about following along live for some reason.
I completely am okay with iPad video and photo shooters. Why not? There is no good reason for your hatred, Doree!
This video is just like that Samsung commercial making fun of all the OLD, LAME people who like iPhones.
I usually try to avoid watching commercials for chrissakes.
Yeah, Adam. Apple's so commercial now! NOW.
applaud the commercial everyone
Yeah watching this on my TV is WEIRD.
Joel!! It's bad enough at concerts when ppl hold up their phones but ppl holding up iPads are a scourge!
APPLE ::: << WE ARE YOUR CULTURE NOW >>
I'm just saying seeing it on video just makes it hit harder than reading people's transcriptions.
I will give you concert recorders. They are real criminals.
Is his polo shirt Lands End?
In other words, it's your fault if your device won't run iOS 6.
it's got a weird lateral ribbing
The mountain lion is staring into my soul.
200 million iOS6 devices is 200 million devices that aren't sending Google location data through the Maps app.
This year's Land's End long-sleeve polos have white buttons.
What kind of shoes is Tim Cook wearing?
Poor Tim sounds like he can't breathe :(
Need to know how many of the 300 billion iMessages sent contained emojis.
Sending 2,000 iMessages right now.
Cook is really copping the Jobs woooorrd streeesss technique.
He mountain biked there, John, and someone stole his Clif bars. He's just tired.
2,000 imessages that say "hey"
28,800 messages per second is not a coincidence. We have achieved humankind's natural baud rate.
Everyone one of them has at least one emoji
BBC
I kinda want to know how many people have the thing activated that tells someone you've read their message.
the split screen makes me think tim cook is walking on a treadmill, talking to his cats
His pacing and rhythm seems little off and stuttery? But I can't tell if that's just the live stream.
I like how how Tim Cook keeps saying "iPad" with no article, like you might use "Dad" or "God" or "Chuck"
I've noticed like 3/4 of the people I iMessage with have read receipts turned on. I gave in a few months ago.
Read receipts are the devil. I will never give in.
"One of the most popular apps in the store is iBooks" ATTENTION POLITIFACT
They need to be customizable: Your Message has been glared at.
Wow crazy. I don't think I know anyone who has it turned on.
Sepiathing.
I wonder if this new version of iBooks has been optimized for a 7.85-inch screen???
My stream just cut out :(
I think "sepia thing" is Cook's way of saying "sepia theme."
How often do you guys dust your iBooks bookshelf? I find at least once a week to keep it really sparkling.
My iBooks bookshelf is color-coded.
Haahhaha yeah, "Sepia Thang, Night Thang." So I guess they're going to market the lil' baby iPad as an ebook reader, sort of? Odd.
ARE THOSE THE LYRICS TO GANGNAM STYLE
Fuck books you can't tweet from, f'real.
The new iBooks. It does literally one new annoying thing.
my stream doesn't work! someone please describe tim cook's speech cadence for me
There is a woman who looks like young Sigourney Weaver in that crowd and I must know her. As a friend.
Tim Cook is the best dressed Apple keynoter, by far.
WHOA TUCKED IN SHIRTS from Phil Schiller.
The 13-inch Pro is probably the best-selling because it's the cheapest Mac outside of the Air?
Welp, they're doing a Retina 13in
If the 13-inch Retina Pro has the same guts as the 15-inch Retina Pro, that is my next computer.
It's only a half pound heavier than a MacBook Air. Wow.
Yeah forget the iPad Small, this is what I'm excited about now.
Like two little aluminum duck bills about to kiss: i.imgur.com
Tim Cook put the MacBook Pro on a crash diet.
mwwwwuuuahahhhhclunk
I really wish I had waited to buy my 13-inch MBA now.
Do most apps still look crappy on your retina Macbook Pro Adam? Or are they getting better now?
Some still look crappy. The official Twitter app still hasn't been updated for some reason.
But most are fine, or I'm just used to them now.
I can tell you that the terminal looks FANTASTIC on the MacBook Pros. Nothing but text!
So. Who wants a month-old 13" MacBook Air?
Finn how does usenet look on the new MacBook Pros?
Well, if you really love Twitter, you'll buy a $20 Twitter application for your Retina machine.
It's like Twitter.App.Net, but you pay all in one chunk.
I keep it on my 2nd, non-retina monitor so it's fine. I'M A COOL DUDE.
MacBook insides still look like an angry face, so that's good i.imgur.com
"Let's take the bottom off and take a deep look inside."? Um.
AN ANGRY FACE WITH A MUSTACHE
omg it's so angry!
So. Integrated graphics. No sell. Guess I'm buying a 15.
Is there also a catnap setting?
itym langry katie
Hopefully they'll announce fresh guts for the 15, since it's 6 months old now.
angry macbook face has cute chubby cheeks though
Apparently iPad photography is OUT OF CONTROL at this event twitter.com
She just took her second photo with iPad. Doesn't she know about the livestream? She could just screencap it.
You're so cute when you're angry!
Adam another ad coming. Close your eyes.
Of course my sound cuts out when I actually care about the dumb ad.
Ugh how dare they commercialize what used to be such a pure space for art and expression.
You better be able to bump this thing to an i7.
So I bet that the $1200 MacBook Pro is still gonna be their best-selling Mac.
Ooooo look at Phil Schiller get meta. APPLE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, PRESS.
"Turbine hard drive."
iMac Mini is six inches, on a tiny stand
Wow they're up to Bluetooth 4.0 now?
OH MAN, an iMac redesign. I am a S U C K E R for new designs.
Or maybe they're killing it.
I know it's just thinner, but my god.
I was really hoping for a more Macintosh-TV-inspired design, but oh well.
Holy shit, that is very thin.
Huge iPad i.imgur.com
I feel like I could get a paper cut on the new iMac.
whoa
"It's so thin I have had an iMac in the back of my dad jeans during this entire presentation!"
Katie you have a dumb old iMac don't you? Don't you feel terrible right now? Worthless? Just NOTHING
It's a giant iPad mini.
John can you GIF Schiller running his finger down the side of the iMac please.
PHIL SCHILLER JUST SUMMED UP OUR LIVES. "Isn't it amazing how something new makes everything else look old?"
They should call the new iMac the iPad Maxi
Good point, this liveBranch needs more liveGIFs.
schiller rips his shirt off. there is an imac bungeed to the front and back of his torso. "it's so thin i was wearing TWO of them and you idiots didn't even notice" he says. the audience catcalls suggestively
omg literally john i am dying of embarassment by the big FAT iMac in front of me UGH UGH UGH UGH it's revolting
Apple is slowly introducing, one keynote at a time, another piece of jargon into our collective lexicon. Retina, chamfer, plasma deposition.
Also: nits
Don't say nits.
The inside of that iMac is giving us the finger with both hands!
Apple FUSION DRIVE.
I know optical drives are dead or whatever lol, but it's still crazy to think that a desktop computer doesn't have an optical drive. Like whaaat.
That's actually a pretty good idea. I run the same setup on my Hackintosh.
I'll show myself out now.
Wait, this one looks one of those vertically oriented Japanese emoticons: (ﾉ･o･)ﾉ i.imgur.com
It's ok, I have one of those Seagate hybrid drives in my janky old MacBook.
isn't this just a rebranded version of the old iMac setup? boot from ssd and save to hdd?
I have a hybrid drive in my Pro, but I beeet Apple's fusion drive works better.
yeah, sounds like It Learns™
Oooh optical drive BURN
So, does anyone actually have Thunderbolt devices yet? Apple keeps putting two Thunderbolt ports on every new machine, but I'd rather have another USB 3.0 port.
Like ONE Thunderbolt port would be plenty.
Presumably it's more integrated and the ssd essentially acts as a cache in front of the magnetic drive.
I still don't understand why there's no Thunderbolt <-> Lightning cable. Isn't that the whole point of the names??
Also also, wish the optical drive thing was either Thunderbolt or USB 3.0. Along with the Lightning cable for the new iEverythings.
Finn are you branching from Terminal right now?
I'm branching from w3m.
100 million iPads. Jeez.
Branch still doesn't support lynx.
A friend of mine who runs IT for a school system in Georgia haaaaaates administering iPads.
A somber tone for this announcement
God damn it. I want an iMac. I do not need an iMac.
Matt: Why does he hate administering them?
I'm curious how much the Mini is going to cost. Apple hasn't shocked with a low low price in a while. Seems like that's where they're going with this education build-up.
You would think so, yeah.
I had forgotten about that textbook authoring tool completely.
Joel: Limitations in the software — like you can only do things in batches of 30, apparently?
I'm boooooooored
I suspect the iPad mini could be the best-selling tablet in the world within a year.
(Sorry, Surface.)
Phil gets an encore!
Whoa whoa whoa. 4th-gen iPad?
OH GODDAMNIT I AM SO MAD AT MY RETINA IPAD RIGHT NOW
I know. I want to cash in all my Apple stuff.
Wow, Apple outdated an iPad within 6 months. The first time they've ever done that to an iOS device. Jeeeeezus.
I mean, is the current iPad too slow to do anything? It's still so fast, this feels weirdly unnecessary.
wait was that a laugh track or did that whole audience seriously just laugh at the rearview mirror line
Actually, it kind of chugs.
i guess they couldn't have current-gen iOS devices with different connectors? is this all about plugs?
Wait Matt NOW should I buy an iPad????
This is insane.
Like, Apple actually blew away every aspect of the current iPad except its weight/thickness just six months later. Which raises the question: Do you buy this iPad and then get annoyed six months later when it gets thinner?
Apple's really going all out on this "hold it one hand" thing, aren't they?
really thought Katie had the inside line on that iPad A-Cup hunch
They're gonna sell a ton of these.
They keep panning to that one guy in the glasses and the khaki suit with the huge lapels. WHO ARE YOU, KHAKI SUIT GUY?
It is a beautiful design. Like, no question, no doubt.
I am excited to hear the justifications current iPad owners create to explain why they need a Mini.
Mahoney: I have three hands.
Oh, Paper is a great app. I really like it on my now useless iPad 3.
(Although you need a stylus.)
7.9 inches. The rumor machine was 0.05 inches off.
Rounding error.
It's not retina! You can't go back, reading on a non-retina tablet has got to be like going from broadband to dialup, right?
I'm going to wait and get the retina iPad mini so Apple can introduce a new one six months after I buy it.
the wider screen for browsing is a really good point, actually. 7-inch tablets in landscape mode have, like, three inches of usable vertical space when browsing the web.
Are we hanging with our friends and Yelping right now?
live-Yelping is the new live-Branching.
Samsung's lawyers just spit out their coffee and reached for their phones when Schiller said "there is a gigantic difference in these products"
Oh huh, only an A5 chip.
Can someone explain the iSight camera branding?
iSight on the back, FaceTime on the front. In short: arbitrary.
fake new order? what is this
Jony Ive videos are the best part of any product launch. Like seriously.
What is this New Order knock-off song?
No rainbow of colors for the iPad mini. Guess it's not as fun as the iPod touch.
That's a big hand.
Apple's lawyers wouldn't let them license a song called "Age of Consent"
Chamfer.
"It's 'every inch an iPad,' now queue the video, featuring the New Order hit 'Age of Consent'"
Zynga just basically shut down its entire company during the Apple event.
Good lord, like 60 percent of the mini is battery.
Also, that diamonad-cut chamfer is back.
How long before iPads don't have bezels? Five years? Ten years?
can you have a chamfer without a bezel
These videos are a minor part of the marketing campaign for these, but the mindshare they create around Apple's expertise in design and manufacturing sophistication is real.
You can in fact have a chamfer without a bezel.
But man this music is really bumming me out.
Weird. They aren't killing the iPad 2.
I think white is the right choice for this iPad, btw, since most of what I do with an iPad is read. Also, like, I imagine the black scratches like the iPhone 5.
IPad mini is cheaper than an iPhone.
I like the contrast between the black of the bezel and the white of the screen when reading. Also everyone knows black is cooler than white.
black is way cooler
Then again this is coming from someone who paid the black MacBook tax back in the day.
God damn it. I like this ad.
White is the new... oh nevermind.
With a bezel that thin, are you just supposed to hold it from the bottom, I guess?
this is the first song i ever learned to play on a piano, heart and soul
hi guys
bye guys
So, in sum: Apple is gonna sell a bajillion iPads mini, which look great; your current iPad is already old and sucks; and there's now a tiny Retina laptop.
And a new iMac for grandma.
Also: your iMac is an enormous relic and sucks.
Thanks everybody! We'll be posting updates on buzzfeed.com NOW and forever
