Footy.

What about it?

It's a ball kicked with a foot. Or if your as good as me, both feet.

Mark
Edge
Bales
Sam
Paul
Neil
John / Jim
Matt

Did you speak to Sam or Jim about London, need to tell Paul ASAP

Who's picking me up?

me

Spoke to Sam, Sam's playing, text Jim he seems to be out of his sulk but he IS going to London. He'll play next week.....

right ok

I think I deserve Assistant Manager now to go along with Captain & All Action Warrior.

Get your formation up then

You're the "gaffer" which means that's your job.

Urmm we have a problem:

This is from Andy form the other team:

Trouble at mill with football. Just phoned to see if we can get the big goals from the off for tonight - the cunts haven't even booked us in. Kicked off and told them we pay and we book it on the night. Told them about being charged for bigger goals and 'missing money' and they didn't know any of this was going on. The girl I spoke to is getting the manager involved and is going to ring me back by 9am. Will let you know.

Later Text:

Right, they've apologised but can only get us in at 8pm tonight but we'll have the big goals from the start - then they'll block book us at the usual time, with the goals too. Let me know if that time tonight is ok with you and your lads. Apologise for me, but tell them its the pricks at the centres fault. Will speak to my lads too. Cheers/sorry mate.

8 is fine for me.

Yeah no problem. We should have Sam from the start then. Although I'd still put a quid on him being late.
As "gaffer" I expect you to make a complaint to the FA.

Make sure you tell Sam he doesn't have to rush over. Or leave the other game early.

Will do.

Ok, so Pauls Colleague Jon is injured. Just trying gaz Cooke, see if he can play

I'll have to stay in goal tonight, my toe is still knackered.

What a palava. Has Neil confirmed he can play at 8 or does it mess with his mantra?

No he can play at 8. Just waiting confirmation from Bales/Sam

Sam'll be alright.
Team sheet?

You have to Speak to him, if he turns up and nobody is there, he'd go home.

Still waiting on Confirmation from

Bales.
Gaz.

Sam'll be there as stated.

Is edge going to bother turning up?

getting a response from either Gaz or balesy would be nice.

Gaz didn't sound keen yesterday. We're screwed. Shouldn't have upset Jim :-)

well looks like 7 vs 8 then. We've got a strong 7 though

We will have to be on the top of our game.won't James play? Tab? Large? Jim? Emyr? Dean? Edges work mate? I can ask someone from work?

James has gone to London in protest.

Tab Can't play on a Monday anymore
Large isn't arsed either, has turned me down 3 weeks running.
Not seen Dean since 2003.

We must be able to get someone, Whats Rob Mercer upto, he played on Thursday?

Riggs

Edge Bales Sam

Minx Paul

Matt

Be fine.

Rob Mercer has also turned it down twice, will give gaz a chance to respond. before i'll ask him.

Edge is like 2 players anyway.

Gaz Cooke is going to play, told him there's no going in goal this week because Mark is injured as well. He's going to see how it goes.

So that's 8 players.

Dont worry, I'm there. I can cover if he hurts himself. Neil best bring his "A" game though unlike the other week.

Who driving as i need a lift of someone.

I'm driving.

Although, its going to be a tight squeeze with 5 in the focus (i can't be arsed getting all the isofix baby seats out of the BM

We should fit as long one of the 5 isn't Balesy. What time will you pick me up?

7.40.

Minx, end of your road at 7.35

Riggs Gaz, 7.30ish

Ok see you then

Balesy has now confirmed

Sweet. The only problem now is Neil.

I think we should shove edge up front so he's out of the way. He doesn't have the composure to defend.

Neil suffocates the creativity in the team. We'll be lucky if the ball comes out of our half

No bibs, no bibs. We have no bibs! Jim's taken them so we need to colour coordinate. I suggest white?

I suggest just remember whos on your team. But i'll wear white just for you. I'm not sending a text out demanding that though.

When you're as creative as me, bibs would help for my peripheral vision. No bother though.

Is this the peripheral vision that only reacts when someone is screaming for the ball?

Edge it wouldnt matter if you were blind. We would still win as we have got me and minx in the middle to run the show.

How wonderfully reassuring. Just give the ball to me. I make things happen.

Edge you're about as creative as Iain dowie. Like Paul said you just take it easy tonight and do the.grunt.work. We've got it covered.

Will you move out of your 5 yard square box?

It's called positional sense and tactical awareness. You can't run all over the pitch chasing shadows.

I call it a lack of movement. Facts speak for themselves Neil, last time you played we lost. In your absence we won & I scored 3 while covering nearly 4 miles.
Now bugger off I've got my warm ups to do or I won't be able to walk till next week.

Bad day at the office.

Gaz is not playing next week, so if jim wants to play again, he's more than welcome.

Bad day indeed, I could go on about my toe injury, tiredness blah blah blah, but yes I made some shocking errors, as did other people. One thing that is starting to piss me off is certain people taking the ball off me 1 yard away then immediately putting themselves and me under pressure, I shall be taking steps to eradicate this next week. We have no problem scoring, if we can sort defence out I'm sure we could win comfortably every week.

Mark, I can't have a go at you. You're stopping me from having to spend 10 minutes in goal & for that I'm grateful. That said some composure wouldn't go amiss. It's hard when everyone's shouting "here, here, here" just take time & throw it out or roll along the floor.

Yep, can't argue with that, I'm all for a bit of constructive criticism, by trade I was a defender back in the day so I'm no expert at goalkeeping. I just find it a bit pointless for someone to stand next to me and hoof the ball up, I can do that all day.

Balesy!
Just play your own game.
Can we start a new branch? I'm having to scroll down 200 posts to read what's said. On my fucking phone. Doing me head in.

We need to get someone in for next week then, as it looks like Jim won't be playing with us any more.

Why?

because of bench gate, he said on twitter, that he'd prefer the 6:30 he obviously does not want to be left out if he doesn't play. But as I've explained, that's the only way it can work. And it applies to everyone, me included.

What? So he's gonna take Sam with him as well because it's Sam that drives? Bollocks! He'll be there next week, he just wants to be rubbed alà Rooney/Ronaldo.

Well you better speak to him then, as he gave me the impression he didn't want to play. And i don't want the same situation next week where we are scrambling round for players at 12pm

He'll play. He's just being a fanny. And if Sam's playing then what's he gonna do for an hr?

Consider it sorted.
No the only issue is Sam as he has a legit injury but I will be phoning him to make sure he's getting enough rest.
Add Physio, prolific goal scorer to Assistant ManGer, Captain & All Action. Warrior to my list.

Hopefully he will man up and play but if not Jon will be available from work or i can get AJ or Tony Emm to play instead.

He's in.